Your Inner Self vs. Your Inner Mind – A Conflict

Hi there!

I’m back again with another food for thought.

Did you all ever wonder that there are conflicts between your inner self and your inner mind?

We’ll, if not, let me take you through this journey with my reasoning.

Inner self is your soul or conscience, while inner mind is your thoughts that run helter-skelter with no pathway towards any destination.

What I explain below will make many of you ruminate. So, shall we begin?

When you mull over something, what does it mean? It means you are in deep thinking.

But when you think, the thoughts will be either black or white, meaning positive or negative respectively, there is no via media to this, or a middle path to the thought.

In life, there can be via medias but in thoughts, no. Someone always has to school us to think in a manner that benefits us first and also doesn’t compromise on what the other is thinking.

That is why, I believe this line of thought – “Never show your weak side to anyone. At times, you may feel very disoriented, lost and misunderstood. But know this, these emotions come to everyone.”

The reasoning for this is as follows –

There is no way anyone would understand what you are going through, as all are busy mulling over something important to them and discovering their paths in their life. This does not mean that they love you less or love themselves more.

It is just their inner demons and the peripheral circumstances that make people the way they are today. Today’s situation may warrant them to behave in a certain way and some other time that situation may make their behaviour change 360 degrees altogether!

So, while the inner demons are trying to take over in your mind or the peripheral circumstances aren’t conducive enough for you to express yourself, then at that time keeping silent is the only way out.

But if these same demons or circumstances bring your morale down to an extent that you can’t control anymore, it is in your and the other’s best interest to vent out your thoughts and emotions rather than keeping it locked within your chest and making it heavy.

I would like to say here that when even a slight silver lining is spotted by you in the midst of many dark clouds, you would want to latch on to it and come out of the harmful situation.

Here, it is pertinent to say that it is not your inner mind taking over, but it is your inner self that is beckoning you to strive!

So, what I have learnt from all this is –

“Have only this last thought in your mind and see where your soul takes you!”

Family Life – Before & After Marriage

So yes! Hello to all you wonderful people! I hope you are doing great and are excelling in whatever you may have set out to do!

Today’s blog post heading might have made you sit up in your chairs, I believe.

So without any further ado, let me begin.

In my previous post, I shared my ordeal which I was going through, for the past few months. That was exactly from September 2022 up to January 2023.

But what about the months before and after? What was going on inside me particularly before and after my wedding?

My parents started looking for alliances for me way back in 2019. Many alliances came up to the point of my parents going and visiting the prospective groom’s house, meeting him and his family, or just talking on the phone or sometimes me meeting the prospective groom in a cafe or restaurant.

All these times, it was either me or my parents conveying to them about my health issues or about my father having a terminal ailment. Whenever these bare facts of our lives were disclosed, it was either the opposite party terminating the alliance saying “GOOD LUCK TO YOUR DAUGHTER” or “BEST WISHES TO YOUR DAUGHTER, WISHING HER ALL THE SUCCESS IN LIFE,” or them not reverting to us with any response, which clearly meant a “NO.”

Now tell me, what would the mindset of my parents be like?

Wouldn’t they be shattered, displeased, full of anxiety and worry as to when they’ll be seeing me settled in life?

Okay, that’s one part. Now coming to me, the protagonist in the tale. What would be my mindset? My mindset much before my husband’s alliance came, all about till a year before my wedding I mean, is what forms the basis of the the topic, FAMILY LIFE – BEFORE MARRIAGE.

I had health issues, for which I was being treated, and my father had cancer, lung cancer.

My mother had to divert her attention from me and my sister towards my ailing father (yes, he had become handicapped a year before my wedding), much to the discontentment of me and my sister. We failed to understand the gravity of the situation, even though my father was hospitalized twice in the year preceding my engagement.

There were a lot of issues.

My health was not hopeful, I was entirely depressed seeing my counterparts post photos of them getting engaged or married. Social media was rife with such posts.

I had lost all hope.

Let me tell you why and how.

When my parents started looking for me, alliances didn’t pour in, but to whomsoever we contacted, we firmly and truthfully disclosed the bare facts of the health issues prevailing in my family. In every alliance that we approached, the horoscopes did match, the boy’s side would demand that, but when the health issues were being brought to the table threadbare, they would politely wish us luck and excuse themselves.

That was the time I started feeling lonely, I wanted to get married desperately, a feeling which I myself was unaware of, at that time. I started behaving rebelliously, I had lost interest in matters of life and was just doing my duties as a daughter and an employee sincerely. I furthered myself in my career and strived constantly to better my performance. But still, the fact that all around me, people were getting hitched, was hitting my nerves hard. I stopped medication and started going into a daze. But somehow my parents found out and pulled me out of that hell hole.

I became alright, I curated a collection of poetry and stories, published it and also attended open mics in Bangalore and Chennai. But just after my return from Chennai, my father got severe epileptic attacks, was hospitalized and we thought we’d lose him. But by God’s grace, he bounced back and started working from home.

We saw a lot of clashes and turmoil within family at this time and each one of us were affected in our own ways and had our mechanisms to cope with the situation.

These were tough times. But I need to say here that my entire extended family and all of my parents’ friends stood in unison and proved their solidarity to us by offering all means of support in ways they could.

So this proved to all the onlookers, without us having to prove ourselves, “UNITED WE STAND, DIVIDED WE FALL.”

Then, out of nowhere, my husband’s alliance came for me, and it was all decided in the matter of a week, and we got engaged in November 2022 and got married in January 2023.

The wedding was set to take place on 23rd January 2023, but in the beginning of January 2023, my father’s health deteriorated drastically and he preponed the wedding to 18th January 2023. But as they say, time and tide waits for no man, neither did it wait for us.

My father went into a comatose state on 15th January 2023 and had to be hospitalized. Doctors had held their hands up but my mother was firm that the wedding should happen on the appointed date and time. My sister facilitated it and the wedding took place successfully, on 18th January 2023. My mother did my “KANYADAANAM” (as my father was still alive) as opposed to popular beliefs that only the father of the bride can perform this.

My father’s wish was fulfilled. It was his last wish. He passed away on 23rd January 2023.

The whole wedding was one of a kind. The happenings of January 2023, be it my wedding or my father’s passing, are much talked about, even to this day.

Now coming to FAMILY LIFE – AFTER MARRIAGE.

My husband and his family, which now I am a part of, too, are so loving, caring and affectionate. They are so understanding in everything. They gave me time and space to recover from my loss, and stood by us throughout the ordeal we faced in January 2023.

And mind you, the family that I have come into, doesn’t make me feel like an outsider at all. I have blended well into the family and have no qualms with them. I share a special bond with each one of them, be it my husband, my mother-in-law or my sister-in-law. I want this to continue till eternity.

There are a few ups and downs, yes.

But what is life without its share of challenges?

After all, all roses come with its thorns and we have to pluck out the roses without letting the thorns affect us deeply.

That is the sum and substance of life in itself.

And I’m glad I got this life, I chose to live this life and I want to share my joys with both my families in totality and in sheer equality.

Healthy Confessions

Hi there!

I hope you are doing well.

Today, I need to confess. What’s it all about, you might wonder!

An alliance came for me right at the time when my grandfather was in hospital. The boy and his family were to come to see me and my family on 11th September 2022 but it got stalled due to my grandfather’s passing just the previous evening. All of us observed 13 days mourning and we all had forgotten about the alliance. Once the 13 days passed, my mother got a call from the boy’s mother, asking my mother whether they could still come home. My parents and me, for that matter, had given up hope about my marriage and also because my father is keeping unwell. I needn’t say more, you get me, right?

So, moving on, they came home to see us on 2nd October 2022, Gandhi Jayanti day. After initial talks, me and Rahul (yes, that’s the boy’s name, can you imagine?), we were given the opportunity by my father, to speak alone in my room.

I began the conversation, he asked me to, and I still can’t believe it, we both have so much in common. It’s said, if you don’t like a person, you’ll come to know immediately but if there are sparks on both sides, you’ll be majorly confused and will not be able to come to a decision quickly. So we spoke and spoke. Almost for 2 hours. Now I can say that we hit it off right from the first meeting. Then, after that talk, we went outside and told our respective parents that we’d like to meet a couple of times more and then take a call whether we could proceed further or not.

Three meetings after that day, in the same week, and we both made our decision.

5th October, 2022 was Dusshera day and our second date. Rahul made up his mind and proposed marriage to me on that day. I was overwhelmed with joy and confusion but even I was leaning towards the fact that I also felt the same as him. Still, I took three more days. On 6th October, 2022, me and my mother, we went to his office and disclosed the bare facts of my mental health issues and much to my surprise, he was undeterred by it. Not once did his expression change and when my mother told him that marriage is a big ball game, it’s not easy and you need to face your own challenges, he understood and assured my mother that he’s made up his mind about marrying me, and he was clear headed about the fact. Then, the next day, i.e. 7th October, 2022, I went over to his house just to get the feel of things happening. And I hit it off well with his family too. I thought I’ll get anxious and my mind will talk and I expected all the uneasiness to creep in, but you know what? I didn’t come, AT ALL. Instead, when my family came to see them the same evening and I was also present, I felt my people from my “maika” are coming to my house. I felt very welcome in that house. I felt touched. Beyond words.

Still, I had to be really sure. So I bought some more time.

Rahul and me, we met the following Sunday, 8th October, 2022 and I cleared all my doubts and expressed about all my insecurities threadbare. And Rahul’s mind didn’t waver at all. He was very firm in his stand about marrying me but he understood me, gave me the space, time and respect. There was one particular point I was worried about and his answer to those questions made the decision for me. And nothing more was needed to be said or clarified. And…. I SAID YES!

Then there was no looking back!

6th November, 2022, we got engaged.

18th January, 2023, we got married.

23rd January, 2023, my father left for his heavenly abode.

In all this, what I am able to fathom, is – If some people leave your life sometime, another person enters and stays for another destined time period. All my family feel that my grandfather and my father left, but they made sure somehow, that their void will be filled in by Rahul.

And that’s what happened.

I’m very happy now. I feel as though I am on seventh heaven.

Birthday Month Musings

I’m 27 now, will be turning 28 in exactly 10 days from today.

I got a new haircut done, pampered myself by buying cosmetics and spent a lot, in short, because it is my birthday month.

I was never this way. In the past.

But now I want to enjoy life with the limited means that I have.

Why do I say limited means? You might wonder.

My parents have given me everything I wished for and they still want the best for me.

I’m not saying that being materialistic gives me immense joy, it doesn’t.

My parents and sister being content with me, I being content with myself, I what I crave for every waking moment.  

But at times, I fail to comprehend when it is most necessary.

I let my anxiety consume me.

First, I try to divert my attention to many things apart from the moot point causing the anxiety and I see that the anxiety doesn’t go away, it increases manifold and makes my cry a lot or remains status quo.

That said, when the above tactics don’t work, I go head along and with full force into what I am supposed to do at that moment, be it work or enjoyment. But the sad part is, that I start hearing voices only when I’m low, be it for any reason.

I’m not able to write long sentences and weave words into a narrative anymore.

The poems that I write are my way of expressing myself now. I’ve even got accolades for the same but as they say, I feel the spice in my life is missing.

I am of old school thought, but my generation has moved on and I am not able to.

Again, it is the same marriage and career worries that I’ve got inside my head.

My father is ailing and is partially handicapped now. As all say and it is my own feeling too that I need to see the larger picture in life and live for the moment.

But it is easier said than done, right?

My parents and my sister are my world.

But what should I do when there is an alter mind taking shape inside of me whenever I feel low about something?

And it is excruciatingly painful to see my father unwell.

At the same time I should say this, the way my mother takes care of him, she deserves applause. She is holding the fort for the four of us. By four of us I mean, my father, my sister, me and herself.

I have also become strong but my alter mind talks otherwise. I have started giving less credence to it, I want to believe. I want to disregard it, at the same time not dismiss it because if I dismiss it, it talks and I hear more voices.

Everything is okay now, I’m in a better frame of mind and the mornings and afternoons, are the best time in the day for me. It is what I choose to believe that shapes my thoughts and emotions.

P.S. : I had written this blog as part of my diary writings way back in July 2022. I hope you could get some learnings from my post, because what better than something written being the reason for even the slightest positive change possible in someone else’s life, someone who needs it at this time? If it does, I’d be blessed. Thank you for patiently reading.

Are We Really Allowed To Feel?

Why is it that the one who feels, always feels the need to justify their emotions or emotional state?

What is so wrong in feelings and emotions?

Can’t a mental health survivor feel it? Or for that matter, anyone?

Why does everyone feel that mental ailments are something like a taboo and
still don’t consider a mental ailment as any other ailment and treat it the same
way?

Agreed, my parents took the right step by taking me to a psychiatrist and further
on scheduling counselling sessions for me.

Also I can’t deny the fact that they realised the gravity of the situation 11 years
ago when I stopped talking and became like I was deaf and dumb (no offence to
such people – you are doing great despite your limitations) in front of our family
doctor and got afraid just uttered the word SUICIDE in front of my psychiatrist. I still remember the words my psychiatrist said at the time – which was
something like – “This is a very sensitive issue. She needs to be handled
carefully.”

Yes, from there on, my family supported me throughout. You could say – through
thick and thin! My mother ordered the medicines prescribed for me that very
night and my father took care of the scene with relatives well. Despite the fact
that they were themselves clueless of what was happening to me. Forget
acceptance, I guess no one in my near and dear had suffered from something
like this, so it was understandable that everyone would have felt curious yet
concerned, in denial yet in support.

You must have heard stories from your grandparents and / or ancestors that if
anyone spoke or witnessed anyone going bonkers or losing emotional balance
and reacting in a rather odd way, then such people who were ailing would be
christened as having gone mad or say, a Goddess has entered the scene,
through that ailing person. Irony of the fact is that, way back in time – those
days, no one wanted to recognise or give hope to the person ailing, forget
acceptance or acknowledgement.

Well, past stories are lessons for the future, I believe.

  • We can’t change the mentality of our ancestors.
  • But what we can change is our perspective.
  • I am not saying that readily accept my point of view, but really, coming from the
    mouth of a mental ailment survivor, you need to know, that we are also normal
    humans only, some persons are not so lucky enough to get everything tailor
    made or some persons might not even get resources for subsistence, here I am
    having both, yet I feel low many a times!
  • One can interject and say here, that “Oh! She has everything in life, what more
    does she want?”
  • Please do not take it as my retort, because it is not.
  • When I said 11 years I’ve been through peaks and troughs, I am telling the truth,
    not lying. I cross my heart.
  • When I said 11 years, I meant it.
  • When I said 11 years, I don’t want to say it has ended and it is a thing of the past,
    because I am still going through it and I sometimes feel so helpless that I find
    that everything can be extinguished just be shedding silent tears, not ones of joy
    or something I resort to if I am in pain.
  • I am not here to change any thought pattern.
  • But tell me, whatever I feel now, I feel many people of my age have felt it way
    back and I am late, if I can say.
  • But what is the beauty of this statement – is that – there is no age for feeling
    any better or worse, there is no age for anguish or mirth, there is no age for
    achievement, for everything there is something that is said universally – AGE
    NO BAR.
  • But tell me, some emotions which my counterparts faced years ago, the feeling
    of being wanted, being loved, being cared for, by whomsoever (I am not singling
    out only relationships of companionship, it can be any other relationship too),
    am I not allowed to feel it even or why is it that I am always told to push it under
    the carpet?
  • Are mental health survivors some creatures who have emerged from nowhere
    or are aliens?

Why – just why – in any sphere – be it marriage, seeking to study further,
hunting for jobs, in all kind of atmospheres, why do we have to struggle our way
to the top?

  • Okay, not top.
  • But give us a chance, I am sure we shall also excel or I could say – strive to
    achieve just the way so called normal people are given a chance.
  • Why does it have to happen that everything, simply put, about us need to be
    thought of, firstly as the mentally challenged person’s achievement and always
    look at us as though we are a grade lower to people attaining achievements
    through accolades? Are accolades of mentally challenged persons or mental
    ailment survivors less great?
  • Why do normal people want to shield their offsprings from the so called
    tortures that mental ailment survivors supposedly give?
  • Are we any different? If yes, kindly explain to me – how is that.
  • This is not any explanation I want to give to the people around me or even justify
    my actions and reactions towards all and sundry.
  • We Indians are in the same boat as foreigners when it comes to suffering from
    an ailment, typically a mental ailment.
  • Abroad, every second person you meet might have anxiety issues and suffer
    from it, yet it is considered normal for the very same reason that every second
    person gets it there.
  • As for India, sorry I am not degrading our nation, one in 10 people suffer from a
    mental ailment, I might be not as common as diabetes or cardiac arrest, cancer
    or stroke, but you get my point, I hope!
  • Awareness is required, but coming back to my original submission.
  • Are any of us really allowed to feel? Are we committing a crime while wanting to feel? For that matter, feeling and emoting comes naturally, no one has the power to control that which is bestowed upon us by the Law of Nature.
  • Sad fact is that majority of Indians, educated or not, do view us as
    a misfit or outcast, and the same herd mentality continues.
  • Because, even today, if one says that they have a mental ailment, then they are
    discriminated and looked upon like aliens.
  • I am not saying that give us honours and celebrate us, but at least acknowledge
    our limitations, encourage our talents and give us the required opportunities as you give normal people, can’t you?

Is Acceptance Everything?

Hi there!

Today’s topic is something which is dear to me, something that makes me ultra-sensitive.

I know you must have gotten an idea as to what I’m going to talk about but fact is this is a very extensive topic which can be talked about without reaching an end. But still, I feel I need to talk about this today, so here I am.

All of you are aware (if you have read my previous posts on this blog), that I’m a mental health survivor.

But, is my acknowledging it enough?

Have I accepted the fact that I may have to live with this tag all my life?

Is this tag lessening my worth in my own eyes in any way?

Do people, be it my family, relatives or friends or any other acquaintances view me any differently because I have a history of a mental ailment?

All these questions keep popping up in my tiny head every now and then, so as to keep a constant check on my equilibrium.

I say, “No way! I am no less than anyone else in this world! I can lead as normal a life as anyone else! Nothing, and nobody can make me feel that I am a weakling!”

“Log bhi meri haan mein haan milate hain…”

But do they really feel so? Benefit of doubt toh banta hai right?

I am doing things to the best of my ability. I know.

Mental ailment hai toh kya hua?

Is it deterring me from following my following my dreams? Maybe a little slowly, but I am getting there.

Okay, enough of beating around the bush. Let me get to the point.

  1. I HAVE ACCEPTED MYSELF AND MY LIFE.
  2. PEOPLE WHO CARE ABOUT ME KNOW ME AND MY ABILITIES.
  3. BY NOW I’M PRETTY SURE WHO CARES AND WHO DOESN’T AND THOSE WHO MATTER TO ME ARE PART OF MY LIFE EVEN NOW.
  4. I HAVE GAINED ACCEPTANCE EVEN FROM YOU ALL.

This brings me to a point where I’d like to explain through my own verses.

“Viewing yourself from a different prism 

And seeing yourself through unknown eyes 

Give you the courage and the drive 

To do better and better,

Maybe not a class apart 

But nonetheless, a mix of all at heart!”

But, Is Acceptance of self or from society enough to live a contented life?

Look. I am neither a prodigy nor a saint. How much ever I may say that I am happy with all that I have, am I really happy?

Now that is a point to ponder upon.

I have accepted with a heavy heart all the sorrows and sufferings bestowed upon me all through these past years leading eventually to my recovery, but is it only sorrow that is written in my fate?

Am I not destined to get the share of happiness that I deserve?

Am I asking too much?

It is very easy to say that who said you are not happy or why do you feel so and all that. But just for once, for God’s sake. Step into my shoes and view things from my prism.

Although accepted as being normal even putting the mental ailment into the back burner, why does it have to be a decision maker in every step of the way?

That said, I’d like to believe that struggles and strife are part of life, helping you climb the ladder, slowly and steadily, taking you a notch higher.

If you have read this post till here, congratulations. I’m sure you’ll come back for more.

Till then, sayonara!

Human Tendency to Stereotype

Hi there to all you lovely people!

I completed a year on this blog on 1st October, 2021.

Yes, that’s right. And my journey with and through mental health has been taxing and fruitful – both at the same time.

This is a short blog post by me, but very insightful, if I can term it so.

Till yesterday I felt that mental health awareness was the need of the hour.
Yes, it is, no doubt. No exceptions.

But we are stereotyping ourselves as well as whom we call normal people.

Neither are normal people absolutely normal as we feel they are, nor are people who are mentally ill or whom we call their caregivers or whom we refer to as mental health professionals abnormal.

Now, why do I say this? Check the reasoning below!

Normalcy or abnormal behaviour – both need acceptance.

But there a need for acceptance if we feel we want to be heard or felt.
The need is the killer really.

If we really want to feel normal, so much as we feel normalcy is best, we may not.

Because deep down we know that there is a catch to this.

There comes the catch where we discount the fact that the normal people also suffer from tensions and mood swings! And sometimes much more trauma than those bitten by the mental ailment bug!

So neither we as survivors of mental ailments nor whom we term as normal people end up feeling normal.

So who is actually mentally unfit, so to speak?

Or who is the one needing an attitudinal change?

Don’t all humans need to stop this blame game?

That’s that. Point to be noted. Questions to ponder upon!

Happy World Mental Health Day – to all humans!

5 Reasons You Should Care About Your Own Mental Health

Have you ever wondered why taking care of your own mental health is prime?

Saying this as we still live in an India where people don’t let us speak aloud about our own mental health, let alone of others in the community.

Image Credits: istockphoto.com

First, let us introspect and ask ourselves the following questions –

  • Are mentally fit people the talk of the town?
  • Are mentally unstable persons really that unstable?
  • Or are they more level headed than most of the talked about brilliant minds that people hanker after?
  • Why is vulnerability viewed with a disdainful glare?
  • Why is it that mentally challenged people are looked down upon by society in general?

Answers to these questions lie in the reasons why mental health shouldn’t be ignored.

Here are 5 Reasons why you should care about your own mental health!

  1. Better Mental Health leads to living a healthy life.
  2. Improvement in productivity and performance.
  3. Building strong relationships.
  4. Satisfaction with yourself and with the people around you and with the outside world.
  5. Helpful in overcoming your fears about mental health and your ability to circumvent situations even with the tag of being a mental health survivor.

The reasoning? Below!

People who acknowledge mental ailments are those who have gone through it.

But are all the so-called “normal” people able enough mentally, so much that they can climb mountains? Recently, some mountaineers climbed Mt. Everest, but even they weren’t spared of contracting COVID-19, let alone normal humans!

Image Credits: Power of Positivity, Instagram

So, imagine the plight of the mental health survivors, who put their best foot forward and conquered their mental ailment, irrespective of all odds!

Tell me, why does it always have to be the survivor of any ailment, be the one to take upon him/her the onus of revealing their being normal as in what they feel is normal for them, and make themselves stand out in the midst of a normal crowd?

Why can’t the world know and learn just as if this were a common topic taught during regular matriculation or graduation?

This is prevalent in many foreign countries.

But what about India?

As said in the introduction, we live in a society that talks ill and prefers to dissociate themselves from this harsh reality.

This topic often bites the dust in our country.

Fact is – Talking about this is NOT a taboo!

If having blood pressure, diabetes, cancer or stroke is normal, know this – that mental ailments are too, NORMAL.

Image Credits: The Good Quote, Instagram

Don’t shun them, accept them just as your neighbour and treat them with respect, the same way you’d treat physically challenged people.

Give them a pat on their back or hug them and say, “You’re not alone in this, I am there for you.”

If physical ailments can be circumvented, so can mental ailments!

The positive aura you exhibit influences the society’s idea about you as well as their thought process about the mental health community.

In fact, mental health survivors might just become successful writers and bloggers in future, as was in the past even, take the case of acclaimed novelist, J. K. Rowling.

Remember, if the mind doesn’t work, manpower will not function and all will be awaiting doomsday. So, it is important to give that due credit to all minds, alike!

Inner peace and self care are two sides of the coin called mental health.

Allowing you to ponder over this, I end this blog post.

A Year Of Anxiety – My Journey Through A Fateful 2020

Hi there!

Have you ever analysed what kind of journey was it for you in 2020?

Image Credits: Pngall.com

If not, do think now, or you can take my experience as base.

My experience is in no way different or unique, than any of you, as we are sailing in the same boat.

When COVID-19 struck the world, back in late 2019, no one thought about how far and wide its reach would be!

Well, you can understand that each one of us will have a different story to share, our own takeaways from what was in store for us in 2020, the year we all want to forget.


Image Credits: IStockPhoto.com

Coronavirus is that pandemic which engulfed lives of all and sundry, financial and personal well-being affected, irrespective of caste, creed, race, religion or status!

Whether one was already mentally or physically undergoing trauma didn’t matter, all sorts of people got affected by the pandemic, with countries imposing curbs on free movement, banning travel, and locking down people, confining them to their homes and initiating work from home atmosphere!

Let me share my story.

It was rattling to me and my family.

Truth is – subsistence became primary, all glorified avenues and situations taking a backseat.

In India, where I live, lockdown was imposed in the last week of March 2020 and as respite was seen, states were allowed to ease restrictions as and when they thought it was conducive!

We got so fed up with sitting at home, but there was no option.

Going out got hit, and finances and an exquisite lifestyle were part of the diminishing trend.

If that was not all, differences of opinion and clashes saw the brighter side of the day and discord prevailed.

More than a year has passed, and we are back to square one!

If there’s something I learnt from this fateful year of 2020, that would be –

  1. Recognising who is important to you in your ruthless life and letting them stay. People who don’t matter are anyway about to drift away or have already exited your life without them or you knowing it.
  2. The poison that is fast spreading needs to be contained. For, if you distance yourself from toxicity now, your future life and that of your dependents will be secure.
  3. Things that will not resolve themselves, or people who are always against your views, never will understand the beauty of your golden words. It’s best to maintain cordial relations with those who mean something at least to you instead of hankering after the ones who have already left you.

Through Peaks and Troughs.

Hi there! Again.

Have you ever wondered what is Life without ups and downs? What would happen if we were having an absolutely contented life? Is it possible?

All the time we have with us is between the day we were born and till the day we die. So whatever we are in the intervening timespan, is what we are.

I don’t know whether we have seven lives or not. But what I know is we have this life. This one life. So shouldn’t we live it to the fullest? Living life to the fullest does not always mean living materialistically, but living with calmness and contentment. Some people realise this later and some sooner. Ask yourself, which category do you fit into?

Situations can be of two types – one, Internal i.e. within ourselves and two, external i.e. with the outside world. In the past few years, I have faced a lot of situations. All of us must have faced a lot of situations. Some good, some bad. Some with satisfaction and others with dissatisfaction.

But does that mean we stop living? We live through it, right?

Let me give two examples.

One – Have you come across the Business Cycle in the subject Economics? Then you must have understood its 4 Phases – Recovery, Prosperity, Recession and Depression. After Recovery and Prosperity, a business reaches its Peak. Similarly, after Recession and Depression, a business reaches its Trough. And the cycle continues…

Two – In a Hospital, when a patient is in a critical condition he is put on life support, you can spot an ECG machine showing electrical signals of the beating of the heart. If the heart beats, the machine shows ups and downs, it means that person is alive. If the machine shows a single horizontal line, it means that person is dead… So it is important that the heart beats…

Okay. What’s my take in all this? What is the reason behind me putting forth such rhetorical questions and examples?

All situations affect us. If something happens and it makes us happy, we feel positive. On the other hand, if something happens which makes us weep and feel sad or angry, we immediately brand it as negativity. But isn’t this what life throws at us?

Agreed that every person faces and copes with situations differently. Not every person will face the same situation. And since every situation is different, the problems faced are different, each person will have their own way of dealing with it uniquely.

Remember, every situation is a test. If we sail through it, we feel we have achieved victory. But if we do not and get stuck in between, it does not mean that we should succumb to it, it just means that we are a little farther away from reaching the shore. We are ultimately going to reach the shore, yes, but in this journey, we gain a lot of experience. Someone once told me, when I was at a deep low regarding not being able to pursue my career in the way I had charted out for myself, that it is the effort that matters and not the result.

So, Life is not life if it doesn’t have its share of peaks and troughs. Learn to live with contentment (and not pride) during your peaks and sail without taking stress during the troughs.

Easy to say, but try this! It helps me in my darkest hour and I am sure it will help you too!

P.S.: I’m a mental health survivor and am only sharing my experiences with a view to create awareness about mental health. Please don’t take this amiss. I hope to make this world a better place to be in with my views and experiences. If all goes well, I’ll continue sharing my experiences with all of you through my blog. Thanks.